I spent the afternoon with my family today. as expected, the experience was an emotional rollercoaster that would surely leave my ECG results the most erratic any cardiologist would live to see. i honestly pity anyone forced to share family time with us. if you've ever wondered how the presence of dementors in your alley really feel like, try going to the mall with us...the trip on the way alone is almost too much to handle-it really manages to suck out all the happiness from you and leaves you lying on your face on cold, hard dirt with only your awful past to keep you company amidst the deafening silence. the faux bliss manages to melt off of your plastic face and your emotions are once again revealed in their rotting, maggot-infest.ed glory. in short, i feel sucky today. i have no idea if it is entirely due to the same reason. since today is the official start of the break for me, i have naught school to blame for such a dip in my emotions.
i'm trying. i really am. i have psychotically scheduled every day of the break to ensure that the only thing i will be feeling would be fatigue. i keep chanting to myself that there is no room for spontaneity in my life right now. i know, it sounds awful. and perhaps it is. but it is this very thing which has led to my present state of demise and i cannot afford to let that happen again...not at this moment, anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment