a prayer, a friend, and a million raindrops

i spent a few hours with a friend today. we had merienda, worked on a paper that will change the world, kidded with a brother, pretended to be pirates journeying across the vast ocean (pedro gil) in our so-called black pearl (a pedicab). then, we took turns playing amanda bynes on "the girls' room", minus the million or so 'whatevers'. also, i guess you could say we were a tad more serious. here are some insights...

it is hard to let go. sometimes, we've grown to love someone so much that we don't care if they don't love us back; we end up hoping for even the slightest sign indicating that there is still a way to rekindle the fire. we hold on to the memorabilia, acknowledging that there has been some kind of sentimental significance in such things as letters, ribbons, petals, or guitar strings. but sometimes, we also need to come into terms with the realization that locking these things up, hiding them in boxes, may hinder us from truly moving on. sometimes we just have to let go, knowing fully well that that certain part of life has went and gone and will never come back. we acknowledge the joys it has given us, as well as the changes it has brought about in us. we are even thankful for it, admitting that we have become better persons because of such an experience. then, we finally send it off. with a bang, of course.

how do you send off a memory? burn it? oh no, there's no need to trouble the air and ozone layer. leo dicaprio would kill me! throw it in the trash? how unceremonious! no memory deserves such treatment. bury it in the yard? perhaps. but we didn't have a shovel. throw it into the forest? perfect. it'll never be found. and, it makes for good fertilizer ;) no forests in UP Manila though. we'll have to settle for a suitable alternative. and so, after discovering a hopefully deserted and hidden bush, we said a prayer. for him who was loved, that he may be blessed with a good life and the right person. for her who loved, that she may meet her soulmate, if it is in God's plan, and glorify Him in their relationship and service. for her who helped, that she and her GG may have a love that truly pleases the Father. then i breathe deeply, transfer all y energy to my right arm, and toss the memory as far away as i can. my friend and i look at each other, smile, then breathe sighs of relief. it was in me all along--that ability to provide closure, to open a new chapter in my life. no one can push us to or prevent us from doing so except for ourselves. now i know...and i am satisfied.

we return to CN and start reminiscing about the darker times (aka non-YFC days), and comparing our old selves with the individuals we are today. we had to sacrifice many things, including friendships, for YFC. but in the end, we found that it was in giving these up that we were better able to appreciate them. and not meaning to plug, but we both agreed that if there was one thing that changed us the most (in a good way), it was YFC. we never thought we'd be part of it. indeed, we didn't think so highly of it back then. now, we finally believe that everything is right where it should be, that we experienced the things we went through for a reason, a plan. for few are chosen among the many who are called. it is a privilege, a blessing to be who we are now and we both look toward the nearing horizon with optimism and a sense of purpose and meaning.

***kilig moments. we talked about stages (haha) and me praying for my future GG. we also talked about waiting, not for the proper time, but for ourselves. anyway, i really have a good feeling about him. we're not very close and don't know each other well at all but i just sense something in him. maybe it's infatuation. but i somehow have an unexplainable conviction that it isn't just. i pray so.

SOLI DEO GLORIA "to God alone be the glory"

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