treasure hunt

find yourself before you start looking for the one.

or find Him before you start looking for him.

just a thought.  i'm 23 years old and most of the people i know are about the same age.  you don't need to have studied Erikson's psychosocial stages to know that intimacy is on the minds of almost everyone (unless they're workaholics, in which case intimacy with their cubicles is more likely the reigning thought). i encounter many conversations revolving around this topic quite often, and that usually tends to suck me into the big black vortex of self-pity at my state of single-hood.

don't get me wrong--dating is fun.  i was exclusively dating someone for 5 months until the last couple of months (that or i may have misconstrued the friendly dates for something more) and i had a blast during those times.   but the truth is, its' not gonna work out if you haven't found yourself, or worse, your God yet.  you'll end up relying on the other person for your happiness and all other sorts of things.  and if you don't scrutinize the relationship deep enough, you'll have dug your own graves before you know it, and you'll be in too deep to climb out.

this is a reminder to put first things FIRST.  search for God first. date Him first. make Him your lover first.  then everything will fall into its proper place (though probably not all at the same time, mind you).

snail

do you ever feel like you have problems that you've been trying to solve for centuries but the solutions seem to come at a snail's pace?

this is how i feel about my family.  sometimes i start to doubt whether things will ever work out.  sometimes i wonder if giving up my service would make it easier for the rest of my family.  i'd do it, if that's what it took.  but above all, i wonder if it's more important for the Lord that i persevere in this mission or that i focus all my energies on my family instead.

i'm a wonder girl.