What is right???

something is right if it makes you happy, if it leads you closer to God, if it makes you want to do and actually do the right things, if it makes you well-rounded...a better person...the person you want to be and God designed you to be. something is right when you've no doubts about it, when it won't harm anyone else, when you become llike God and Jesus through it.

dear Lord, please guide me to always do the right thing, to always act the right way.

***wrote this during class. i was listening to prof cajucom (if you can believe) when i suddenly felt this strong feeling to do what is right and i felt the need to define it. perhaps, to relieve my confusion.

5 points

i feel good and awful at the same time. good with my acads and talents because i'm learning to do well in both. good with friends because i've been forming deeper ones lately. :) good with family because i've been trying to improve my relationship with them. ok with my service because it's progressing, however snail-paced it may be. awful with love life, of course. i guess this is proof that to be satisfied with life, we need to learn to be satisfied in all aspects of our life.

i have a feeling i need to spread the word. last friday was a great experience for me. I NEED TO LIVE AND URGE OTHERS TO DO THE SAME.

10 minutes to live

read all the instructions..then follow.

close your eyes. imagine that you are in a car. suddenly, crash! everything goes dark. you black out. and when you wake up, you find yourself in a hospital room. the doctor approaches you and tells you that from this very moment, you have only 10 minutes to live. he hands you a paper and pen and leaves the room. what would you do? remember, 10 minutes. (time yourself)

finished?

what did you do? did you write anything? made a paper crane perhaps? if you did write something...did you write everything? or was 10 minutes hardly enough?

the trick is this...

we're not supposed to write anything. because that means that we aren't living the way we ought to...the way we want to....

***galing ni God. last night was great. now, i will try to LIVE so that in my last 10 minutes of life, i don't have to spend it saying my regrets, speaking of unsaid "i love you's"....

now you try it.

remission and relapse

i was finally able to approach him...*insert stuff from my diary*

...

i'm disappointed in myself because i'm not acting in the way i think God wants me too. i already made a plan with Him. purposive singleness! i don't want to take back my promise to Him. i want to be an "O" and roll with Him before anyone else. i don't want to fall back if it's not right by God.

pharmacology samplex

the 1st words since...i don't know. like the first drops of water from a faucet after a drought. it could be real...or just a tease. but either way, i'm happy for it. however, i'm still waiting for a go signal. i wish we could start over. i'm no longer asking for things to return to the way they were at the very start. i think i can safely say that i will be contented with pictures of "barbs" days.

please, Lord, tell me what to do and how to act. thank you for getting me through tough times.

i hope he's okay.

umbrella

i have an umbrella. it's gray and quite broken. fairly new, of good quality but, for some reason, it didn't last very long. it is no longer of use to me. sometimes, it is even a nuisance, taking up much needed space in my cabinet. i will not lose much by discarding it. perhaps, i will even gain more if i do.

so why haven't i the heart to throw it out?

shadow

isn't it weird how when it's all sunny, you have shadows but when it's pitch-black, they disappear?

sanguine again

i just got home. i watched Marie Antoinette at Greenbelt 3 today. having spent the afternoon alone, i was able to reflect a bit.

alone? i say, why not? we were borne into this world alone (most of us). what's so wrong about having "me" time? it's great to just be with yourself. that's when you discover who you really are. you're FREE!!! i mean, i was literally all alone in the L row of Cinema 2 but i felt great! even if i was semi-surrounded by families and couples i felt like i was the one who had the best time. sure, we all could use a bit of company. after all, no man should spend his years alone, cooped up in a weirdo's lair but sometimes company strangles and squishes bits of who we are and we all need to take a break from that. i mean, you can't separate parts of yourself so when you think you're only compromising a bit of yourself, you're actually losing the essence of who you are.

talk to strangers? sure! why can't we greet other people just because we're not related to them or have no interest in them? this tall Spanish guy greeted me with "saan ka pupunta?" as i was happening to walk beside him on my way to the cinemas. we had a short conversation while walking until i finally realized that i was supposed to catch a movie. never miss out on an opportunity to make acquaintances. you never know if they could turn into great friendships. and forget that people might think you're some psycho or that you're flirting with them if you smile and lock eyes as you pass by. i don't know about you but sincere smiles are one of my favorite pick me-uppers.

laugh! who cares if you look ward 7 crazy? as long as you don't seem murderous, ok then!

sleep on a stranger's shoulder (or let them do that to you). i do this all the time. unintentionally, of course. if someone needs to rest and my shoulder can help, then by all means, sleep! just don't drool. why do we need to actually know people to help them in things that don't involve morality? it may not seem as important as returning a wallet or helping out a lost child but it sure does count. my head was bobbing unto some lady's shoulder in the MRT a while ago and i felt her inch away from me. right then, i was turned off. looks can be deceiving. i remember an old woman on the jeep who lent me her shoulder when she noticed that i was whacking my brains on the sides of the jeepney. it's amazing how strangers can be so kind.

make a plan. sure, we all love a spontaneous chick. but some people just need a little more guidance. think God randomly decides what's gonna happen everyday? think again. haha. i have just made a plan, complete with an objective tree. i guess all the event in my life, the movies, everything and everyone have led to this whatchamacalit/map thing. i can't show you though, or else you really will think i'm neurotic. haha.