if the shoe fits...

I want to give it a shot. After all, even Prince Charming had to ask Cinderella to try on the glass slipper before he could be sure she was the one. I guess that makes me Prince Charming!

So, how should I do things this coming year, Lord?

1.I want to be closer to You, Father. I want to fix myself and my life, and I know that THE only way to do that would be to be in close communion with you, that I may know you and learn to love like you. I need to really talk with you, listen to you, obey you; make more time for us.

2. I need to be kinder to my family and make more time for them. I don’t want to spend so much money so I need to make up for it in effort instead. I need to help out more at home too and learn the ropes so i can take over some of my mom's duties, which includes cooking (even the easy stuff)

3. I need to make more of an effort to preserve my friendships (STC, UPM, YFC, FIP, Church, family friends), even by simply greeting them on their birthdays or just asking how they are, to organizing small reunions.

4. I must maximize my time at the office so I don’t need to stay longer than necessary. Let’s aim for an 830-530 schedule, unless there really is a cause for overtime.

5. I need to pray more for this career issue and follow God’s lead. Whether it is writing, acting, the missions, or something else entirely, I need to get started with the preparation process: praying, discerning, planning, studying, pursuing. I want to help others and make a difference while maximizing my passions and talents in the process. I want to do right with what you’ve given me, and I want to do it the right way too.
RIGHT reasons, person, time, disposition, preparation, path/actions.

6. I need to experience life more, aside from just reading, watching, writing, or imagining it. This is a great way to prepare, not just for future career opportunities, but for real life—real living and loving opportunities. I want to read great literature, watch/see more amazing works of art, rediscover art and history, learn of and empathize/sympathize with the plight of different and all peoples, and just LIVE.

7. I need to write more. About the different realizations, emotions, thoughts, lessons. I need to write stories too! Characters, ideas, themes, events, anything, everything!

8. I will continue helping and serving others as much as I can, especially the needy. Through YFC, I can help evangelize to the youth. Through my personal work and actions, I can try to help even the most random strangers, while also showing to others that anyone and everyone can and should help others out.

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Hello, goodbye.

Saturday, December 5, 2009
the last day of the Philippine Nursing Competitiveness Conference

i learned a lot from the entire PNCC--from organizing the conference to relating with other people. and, more significantly, i realized that the Nursing profession, in my case, is like a scholar or an outstanding charity. there is no doubt that it is important and that it is worth helping. the question this really poses to me is this: how can i help something or someone i care for but am not an expert in? it's much like loving your country--this doesn't ensure that you can be a good President of the Republic of the Philippines, does it?

i am passionate for many things and, among such, the status of health care in the country (and across the globe). i want to do my part to ensure that everyone receives good care, whatever their stature. but i am not much interested in learning the ropes of providing primary health care; i am much more concerned in getting the professionals with healing hands to do that in a manner that will be equitable to all parties.

trying to further the standards and status of health, and nursing in particular, is truly a good and necessary cause--i am just uncertain if this is a cause that i should be working for. it seems that i am not required here, after all. furthermore, i cannot give that which i do not possess--and i definitely do not possess the skills in providing health care.

on a different note, i must say that i applaud the likes of Ma'am Meng, Ma'am Betty, Sir Marco, Sir Ken, and Ma'am Vanne, among others. here is a bunch of accomplished professionals who have kept their integrity intact and who have a sincere concern for the profession and those practicing it. it is moving to be in the midst of people who are extremely passionate for what they do, people who aren't just looking out for themselves but for others as well. i look at them and am pleased for Philippine Nursing, for there is much hope still. at the same time, i look at them and see that i do not belong here. i can never have that kind of love for this profession, and i feel it would be an injustice to all parties if i were to stay. good intentions can only go so far for, though i wish that i love Nursing the way they do, i am honest in saying that i do not. i love it in a sense that truly, from the deepest recesses of my heart, i want it to do splendidly. i love it in the sense that i am even willing to give of myself to help its cause, had i the brains or hands to do so. but i am not the best nor the right person to do such a thing.

i was made for something else, something equally worth fighting, living, and dying for.