Lord, i don't know what to do with my life! well, actually, i do. i know why i'm here, i know what i'm supposed to do--i just can't seem to find a way to do it!
i know i need to wait patiently, graciously for You. i know Your help will come. i just wanted to tell you how i felt. but even if i don't know precisely what will happen today or tomorrow or next month or next year, i am certain that You are always Boss, and You will always have your kids' backs.
***after writing this in my journal 12 seconds ago, i suddenly remembered something i learned back in college--arguably one of THE most important lessons, actually. my professor refers to it as the Creation Paradigm. she taught me not to settle for what seems possible or feasible, but to do whatever it takes to make the impossible dream a reality. to create our perfect world. that's what You and i are gonna do, right? ;)
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
isolation
have you ever felt so terrible but didn't have a single person you felt you could talk to about something?
Friday, January 14, 2011
right?
i have the right to be angry, right?
because i sort of am. well, just upset really. hurt maybe. it's silly actually, but because it's someone who's (unfortunately) quite important to me, it has blown up into a big deal. in my head, at least.
the past few years, i've really tried to emphasize how my birthday isn't about me. i'm just like everybody here, nothing special. i think what ought to be celebrated on one's birthday is maybe the reason why we're here in the first place. so that was what i did. this year, well, i've been trying to do that all year round (note: trying), so i figured i also needed to do something for me. not necessarily luxurious or anything, just the simple things that i don't get to do but are still part of why i'm here.
so i shouldn't really mind that this person has not yet greeted me (note the date). but it is a bit sad because birthdays are when people tell you how wonderful you are, how happy they are you were actually born in the first place so they had the chance to meet you, all that crap. at least, that's what they do when you mean something to them...
right?
because i sort of am. well, just upset really. hurt maybe. it's silly actually, but because it's someone who's (unfortunately) quite important to me, it has blown up into a big deal. in my head, at least.
the past few years, i've really tried to emphasize how my birthday isn't about me. i'm just like everybody here, nothing special. i think what ought to be celebrated on one's birthday is maybe the reason why we're here in the first place. so that was what i did. this year, well, i've been trying to do that all year round (note: trying), so i figured i also needed to do something for me. not necessarily luxurious or anything, just the simple things that i don't get to do but are still part of why i'm here.
so i shouldn't really mind that this person has not yet greeted me (note the date). but it is a bit sad because birthdays are when people tell you how wonderful you are, how happy they are you were actually born in the first place so they had the chance to meet you, all that crap. at least, that's what they do when you mean something to them...
right?
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