You ever get to a point in your life when you feel like you have nothing to live for? You're not terribly troubled, no. But you've lost passion for life, and the things you once enjoyed now hold no happiness for you.
This might be one of my greatest fears. To wake up and neither dread nor look forward to anything that would happen that day. To wake up and just go through the motions. To have everything yet dream of nothing. To be a zombie.
And this was exactly how i felt just a couple of days ago. Blame it on PMS (that's pre-menstrual syndrome, for you boys out there), on an almost impossible amount of work that left this responsible girl feeling guilty during the few times she'd take breaks to have bits of heart-to-hearts with friends, on missed opportunities, on seemingly irreparable relationships, on unattainable dreams. Blame it on everyone and everything except the actual culprit.
So what do you do when you've deluded yourself into thinking that life has lost its meaning? Do you give up in the way you know how? Numb yourself with an overdose of material riches--gadgets, shoes, cars, stuffed toys even? Pretend like everything's just peachy? Take it out on the people around you? End your life and, with it, the disappointment and misery?
I've been to points in my life when I've felt tired and frustrated and just about questioned the meaning of life itself. But each time, I make the decision to stay and find out.
This might be one of my greatest fears. To wake up and neither dread nor look forward to anything that would happen that day. To wake up and just go through the motions. To have everything yet dream of nothing. To be a zombie.
And this was exactly how i felt just a couple of days ago. Blame it on PMS (that's pre-menstrual syndrome, for you boys out there), on an almost impossible amount of work that left this responsible girl feeling guilty during the few times she'd take breaks to have bits of heart-to-hearts with friends, on missed opportunities, on seemingly irreparable relationships, on unattainable dreams. Blame it on everyone and everything except the actual culprit.
So what do you do when you've deluded yourself into thinking that life has lost its meaning? Do you give up in the way you know how? Numb yourself with an overdose of material riches--gadgets, shoes, cars, stuffed toys even? Pretend like everything's just peachy? Take it out on the people around you? End your life and, with it, the disappointment and misery?
I've been to points in my life when I've felt tired and frustrated and just about questioned the meaning of life itself. But each time, I make the decision to stay and find out.
1 comment:
Let's have our heart to heart soon din Lola? (: I will commute all the way to North for youuu <3 Loveyou!
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