seeds

HH yesterday with budj, yan & lhai--so much fun! ang galing! thank You Lord. You just gave us an opportunity to bond and, more importantly, acknowledge the infinite blessings you always give us.

then, last night, as i was doing yrbook stuff, my friend texted me that his talk was coming up. so, i dropped everything i was doing and, surprisingly, prayed quite wholeheartedly again. it has been a while since i last had a real emotional heart-to-heart with You, Lord and i'm really happy that, as always, You keep showing us that You're in charge and everything will be a-ok. heck, i was so inspired that i picked up my drawing pencils again and, although they are hardly masterpieces, came up with something meaningful at last.

after watching Blades of Glory, i struggled to find the right music to help get me in the mood for my quiet time but, thankfully, i finally started really praying in a few songs' time. i recall shedding a few tears--either because i wanted so desperately for my family to understand and accept my service, Lord, or because of my frustrations regarding the you-know-which area of my life. i partly blame myself for the former problem, perhaps because i haven't been doing the proper things to help them see why all of this is so important to me. i also cried because i felt guilty that i've been worrying too much about myself and my so-called problems and haven't been praying so much for the concerns of others. but last night, i was able to pray for them again.

and today, i asked for permission from my mom to attend the Kasangga assembly. although she had plenty of side comments which i chose not to respond to so as to keep the peace, she still allowed me to go so... all is well.

then i went upstairs and read the gospel for today and yesterday. yesterday's reading was quite apt, i thought, for my friend's situation. "If you had faith no larger than a mustard seed...everything would be possible for you." but now that i think about it, it's fitting for me too. i've been stressing so much about going to the US and wanting to be back in time for Christmas, and i've been worrying about really talking with my parents. i'm a bit worried about my career in the near future and even my future-but-seems-nowhere-in-sight love life. but i know You've got it all covered and i just need to trust that You have given me everything i need and that, when the time comes, You will just keep nudging me in the right direction. oh, and that someday, my soulmate will come. so thank You, Lord.

today's gospel is also awesome. "Courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." i was scared to ask for permission but was able to do it. i know that in all situations where it is called for, God will always give me enough strength to accomplish the task. i need not even ask Him for help. i just need to remember that He is always present, He is always the ever-loving guardian. and i can take courage from Him.

everything will work out in the end...