can you hear me? i really miss you. i wish i could just feel again the magnitude of your love, feel in my very bones the truth that it alone is all i need. because at this moment, it is but my faith that keeps me from letting go; my emotions are trying to deceive me into thinking otherwise. i am lonely. or alone. i don't know the difference anymore. it is as if sorrow is seeping into the spaces in my body where blood and fluid should be. i sometimes feel like giving up. i am in the blackest of tunnels and it feels like there is no end in sight. i am almost losing hope that i shall ever get a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel, if ever there is one at all.
my family is messed up but none of s either know how to fix things or is willing to go through hell for trying. i am starting to doubt if the career i'd like to pursue, the career i think you want for me, is really what i should be working for, if only because i'm not showing much progress nor potential at the moment. and i still see no prospect of meeting someone i can spend my life with. to make things worse, i am unable to share your word and carry out my daily mission effectively.
i feel like i have made a garbage dump of things, somehow. and i don't know if i can clean it up or, indeed, if anyone can. can You? would You please?
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