yesterday, i was blissful, hopeful. today, i'm ruined--my heart is broken before anything even started. ok, it's an overreaction but you know that feeling when you finally decide on buying this super awesome but expensive piece of whatever only to find out it isn't available anymore? well, it's sort of like that.
see, i developed a crush last tuesday--a real crush on a real person who actually knows i exist. ahem, johnny depp. it's the first time this has happened in a looooooong time. but i just found out now that he's taken. i guess i suspected it but hoped for the best nonetheless. but i shouldn't have. a guy like that, surely a girl would've recognized him for what he's worth.
i don't know what to do, Lord. this happens just when i'm coming to the realization that i need to be more open, take risks, not be so frightened about getting my heart broken and having to share who i really am with someone. i guess i can only hope and pray, and just try to be who you want me to be, regardless of my relationship status. but i do pray, with all the fervor i can muster, that if and when you do bring that person into my life, i would love him as much as a woman could ever love a man.
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