Tuesday, September 28, 2010

nevertheless perfect

i was writing in my journal just now, counting the leaves remaining (only 16 left!) until i would have to switch to a new one.  i anticipate that day with both excitement and apprehension.  the former because, well, naturally! haha.  i'm excited because whenever i write in my journal, it usually signifies a strong emotion or insight or idea and, reardless of the mood of the entry, it's still something to be grateful for.  it means i'm alive and i still have the energy to write about all these things, to remind myself later on.  although, at times, the absence of entries can also be a good thing.  i recall moments when i've just been so overwhelmed with activities and what-have-you's (both in a positive and negative sense), that i haven't had the time to write about them.  there is also a slight feeling of apprehension.  right now, it's mainly because i love my golden (literally) journal so much and i know that when the pages are filled, i'll be switching to a simpler, green one.  the latter is a gift from a really good friend, and i really appreciate his gesture.  but the former, a present from my eldest sister last Christmas, just makes me smile every time i take it out of my bag.  it's really a shallow reason but, hey, i'm allowed to be superficial once in a while, right?

while counting the remaining pages, i chanced upon older entries in my journal as well.  sometimes, i like to do a random flip and read whatever is written on that page.  if i like what i read, i'll keep going.  this time, i read my entries from late June 2010 to early July.  they were all so bright and hopeful and positive.  July 8 was even described as a perfect day.  I couldn't help comparing such to my more recent entries, some of which are abundantly peppered with heavy sighs and complaints and uncertain endings. so, i've decided to do something about it.

i declare: this day, and every day hence, will be a perfect day.

1 comment:

Marian said...
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